I did something crazy.

a podcast

Here’s what I said in the first episode show notes:

I feel easily pressured and overwhelmed these days. Normally, I would just talk to myself to cheer her on or write her a letter of encouragement. But then today I thought, hmmm, maybe we can record these pep talks so we can circle back to it after quite sometime. After we finally overcame. After we went through the hard parts and endured. Hence, a reflection podcast: a reminder to stay afloat.

pt 01: we all live a different kind of hard everyday | show notes

I believe one of my spiritual gifting is exhortation. It is a joy for me to encourage, not only other people, but also myself. I like affirming and reminding a different kind of perspective — the one where there is Hope. It became my habit to talk to myself whenever I feel down or overwhelmed or full of emotions I can’t contain by talking to myself loudly or writing myself letters of encouragement through poetry.

Today, I was in the middle of talking to myself when the thought of recording it came to mind. Initially, I was just going to record over my phone so that I could listen to it some other time. But then, I’m in front of my computer and I have a microphone that was just standing there waiting for it to be a vessel for some spontaneous activity on a random Thursday afternoon: I created a podcast.

It was for my own consumption, yes. Why am I sharing it with few friends or to this blog if it was only for myself? Well, that is because I’m proud of how it turned out. HAHAHA. I meant, it’s not the most amazing podcast that can change your life because I was full of insight or wit or wisdom. I’m proud of my crazy is what I really wanna say. I just jumped right through — not thinking of other things except I will just edit this recording, create some nice artwork for cover photo, and publish it at 8PM. And that is what I did.

Here we are. I have a podcast!

I really do wanted to have a podcast show but what I planned before was something more organized, content-wise; more planned, well-researched. Yet, life just has a way to surprise you. My audio editing was not spectacular HAHAHA! I repeated words in a way that it’s so obvious that I’m overwhelmed and I’m doing a lot of work and I want rest. LOL. But, what can I do? Speaking is different than writing. In writing, you can go back and edit when you think the words are not comprehensive or that you said the same word so many times in a row. In speaking, that’s just you. That’s who you are. Your thoughts, your heart, your mind — that comes out when you speak. I liked that I just went with it even when it’s not perfect.

I just finished Big Magic and Elizabeth Gilbert says: Done is always better than perfect. I’m striking out a dream on my wishlist today because it already came true: Start a podcast.

Do something crazy and surprise yourself. I’m rooting for you! As I’m rooting for me too 🙂

The 50/50 Myth

I have to start by debunking one of the worst myths in the world and that is the myth that strong lasting relationships are always 50/50. I call BS. That is not the case. Strong lasting relationships are rarely 50/50 because life does not work that way. Strong lasting relationships happen when your partner or friend or whoever you’re in a relationship with can pony up that 80% when you are down to 20. And when your partner also knows that when things fall apart for her and she only has 10% to give, you can show up with your 90 even it’s for a limited amount of time.

Brene Brown on Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball

When I heard this, it speaks volumes inside my soul. You see, I have this habit of reciprocating the same energy that people give me. If you wanted to have a conversation with me for hours, I will stay with you for hours. But if you suddenly stop talking to me, I would still try to strike a conversation once or twice and when you don’t respond, I would let it go. I would think maybe you are not in the mood to talk or maybe you’re busy or maybe you need some other stuff to attend to.

By nature, I am a sensitive person. However, I understand that holding an interaction with someone is not the same for everyone. Some get tired and they would want to take a break from it and we shouldn’t take it personal. I always say that to myself: don’t take it personally. But I am not perfect, and so at times, I still do. My sensitive and very extroverted heart long for attention. It’s a constant refocusing of my mind and emotions.

I have resolved to loan up my extra percentages when someone needs it. I pray that I choose to always plug in to the real Source of energy and love so that I will have extras. On days when I can’t seem to give — I will pause, breathe, and soak more into the presence of the Lord. I will believe that there will be people who will share with me their saved pockets of sunshine. I will trust that the Lord will lend me these beautiful people when I needed a shoulder to lean onto.