Come and rest,

My friend sent us the music video (released 20 hours ago) of the song I shared with them two weeks ago.

The song is called Magpahinga by a favorite local band — Ben&Ben. This song was writted by Paolo and Miguel Benjamin for their sister who contracted COVID more than a month ago.

here’s the song background directly from Paolo Benjamin, one of Ben&Ben’s lead vocalist

I just watched the video when my friend shared it and it again reminded me of what and how I felt when I randomly sang this song last week in my room. With a ukulele on hand, I was trying to figure out how to play it — I’m not an expert with strings, I just try my best because I like to learn to play instruments — and then go back to listening to the music just to guide me on the progression of the song.

When I was playing the second half of the first verse going to the chorus,

Ayoko namang magpatalo, pero
(I don’t want to be defeated, but)
Ba’t parang ubos na ubos na ako?
(why does it feel like I don’t have any more to give?)

Ang sabi mo, “Dito ka lang sa ‘kin
(you told me, “stay here with me)
Magpahinga muna, lalabanan din
(and find rest, we will fight off)
Mga dambuhalang ‘di maubos na problema
(these huge inexhaustible problems)
Malapit na, pero ‘di rin kasalanang magpahinga”
(we’re almost there; but it is never wrong to find rest)

I felt like it was God who’s singing the chorus for me. It was very clear and it was comforting.

Lately, I hadn’t been my normal cheerful self. I am swallowed by my insecurities and jealousy whenever I look at the people around me and constantly compare myself to them. Comparison is the thief of joy, I know this by heart. But there are times when I focus too much on the things I’m lacking then I look at others and I wish could be on the same level as theirs. In my heart, I felt like I was left behind because I didn’t give my best. I failed in seeking more opportunities for growth, hence, I’m just living a mediocre life. The thought of it paralyzes me. I can’t move on. I can’t forgive myself on her laziness and recklessness. I feel like I’m losing my time because I wasted a lot of it. It’s haunting.

I feel the same even in my spiritual life. I feel like I’m failing God. I make choices that doesn’t give Him honor. I am complacent. I don’t fully depend on Him. I go my own way. I am not living my life as an excellent testimony of who He is. I don’t even know what my purpose is. I’m not even faithful in seeking Him so that He would show me where to go and what would be the next steps that I needed to take. I feel like I’m an impostor. I lead and disciple women, but I feel like I am not giving my best in that aspect also. I don’t deserve to lead them because I’m a failure.

With all these heavy emotions and thoughts in mind, I came to the bridge part of the song,

Magpahinga ka lang muna
(find rest [in Me] first)
‘Wag nang pigilan ang luha
(don’t hold back your tears any longer)

And, I just cried that Thursday afternoon.

I had a lot of fears that turned into a heavy burden inside me. It has been eating up my energy. The last chorus of Magpahinga says,

Dito ka lang sa ‘kin
(stay here with me)
Magpahinga muna, lalabanan din
(and find rest, we will fight off)
Mga dambuhalang mga pasanin
(these heavy burdens)
Lapag mo lang muna, kakayanin din
(you can place them down, you can make it)
Kumapit ka, sinta, matatapos ang problema
(hold on, my love, troubles will end)
Malapit na, pero ‘di rin kasalanang magpahinga
(we’re almost there; but, it is never wrong to find rest)

God was telling me to lay my burdens. I don’t have to carry it on my own. I looped the song, closed my eyes filled with tears and fell asleep.

And one would think that I understood God’s message the moment I woke up from my Thursday nap and after hearing God talked to me in a song. Yes, I got it. But no, I didn’t lay my burdens right away until this Monday morning – just before my friend posted the music video in our Viber group. This is why I can write these feelings now.

The prompt verse we have for today is found in Mark 2:17 that says ‘Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I’m here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit.”‘ (MSG)

Here’s the quick reflection that I wrote on this verse:

Will a good God stop loving us when we fail to love Him back? The biblical answer is NO. God will keep on pursuing us whether we accept it or not. His love will continue to find us even if we don’t wanna be found. Our actions have consequences — true freedom is only found when we are inside God’s boundaries of protection. We need Him to be healed from our own darkness. The choice is ours. Will we come and rest in His arms?

Not everything we feel is real. There is a truth far beyond what our emotion is telling us. Whatever we are feeling, though, is valid. Our emotion is a gift. However, we must not lock ourselves inside of those feelings.

Whenever we feel tempted to compare, whenever we feel like a failure, whenever we feel guilt and shame, whenever we feel lost – let’s strive to find and draw nearer to God. No matter how hard it would be, we must learn to shift our focus from ourselves and other people to the promise of who God says He is.

We, by our own merit, are not beautiful. Putting the spotlight on ourselves will only let us see how broken we truly are and we can get really frustrated by our own failures. Comparing that spotlight with others will only plant seeds of envy inside us. Without God, it is impossible to make sense of our ugly brokenness. It is God who makes us beautiful because that’s who He is.

God is forgiveness whenever we feel like we can’t even forgive ourselves. Accepting His grace helps us to believe that we can change. Realizing that we fail by our own efforts and that we are lost without Him is also His mercy. In our weakness, God will cover us with His strength — only if we learn to depend on Him.

There is a greater truth than the current state of our emotions (or even our thoughts) and that is God’s love. We can never bring back the time that we lost or the past actions that we didn’t take. But God’s love for us is bigger that our past, our being lost, our failures, ourselves. We can continue carrying the burdens on our own or we can choose to lay them all down at the feet of Jesus. We can cry out to God in surrender.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

Just like the Ben&Ben song, our God is saying: dito ka lang sa’kin, magpahinga muna. He says we can rest in Him and give our cross to Christ.

I told my friend about how the Lord communicated Magpahinga to me last week and explained to her that God communicated a song to me eight years ago, too. Fun fact, eight years ago, the song that God used to talk to me was ‘Wag Ka Nang Umiyak [Don’t Cry Anymore] by Sugarfree. It’s funny because – upon learning the meaning of Magpahinga for me – she said I can stop crying now because God really loves me. But I told her, the Lord literally says that I can cry now. Lol. Remember the bridge? ‘Wag nang pigilan ang luha. Don’t hold back your tears any longer.

I explained this to my friend that back then when God gave me ‘Wag Ka Nang Umiyak, it was during a time that I cry a lot. When He gave me Magpahinga, this was in a time when I am refusing to cry out, surrender, and cast my burdens to Him. He knows the very details of our hearts. He has His ways to help us listen to Him.

We are always in a battle. If we are to face it on our own, we will always be on the losing side. Depending on God means having faith on what He can do that we cannot. Living this life, finding our purpose, having peace and joy, transforming our failures into victories, resting in love — it’s only the Lord who can do this for us. We can choose and love Him today and everyday because He chose and loved us first. But if our love for Him fails, His love for us won’t. And even we don’t understand why, we can always come back because His love will always be available.

If everything around us is falling apart and if we happen to be falling apart, too – let us remember our true place of rest. Try Jesus. Cry to Jesus.

#DailyDevo: 2 Chronicles 34

We resemble what we revere, either for our ruin or restoration.

G. K. Beale, We Become What We Worship

After the fall of Amon, his son became king in his place. King Josiah was a man who sought the Lord at such an early age and continued doing so with humility as he grew. King Josiah’s seeking resulted in repairing the temple of the Lord, which led to the discovery of the Book of the Law.

Hilkiah, the priest, was the first to unearth it and referred to it by its proper name. He, then, gave it to Secretary Shaphan who plainly referred to it as “a book” before he handed it over to Josiah. When the Book of Law was handed over to the king, he tore his clothes. In the Old Testament, tearing one’s clothes is a sign of grief.

Why did Josiah tear his clothes when the Law was read?

As the Book of the Law was read in public for the first time in nearly 60 years, King Josiah tore his clothes as a sign of his grief. He grieved when he realized that he, as the nation’s leader, had not been fulfilling the commandments of the Lord.

ESV.org

King Josiah knew the importance of the Book of the Law. From then on, he honored it by humbly receiving correction and wisdom from the Word of God which impacted the heart of the entire nation.

If we truly believe the Bible is the living Word of the one true and holy God, we won’t just read it; we’ll let it read us. It will breathe fresh life into us, rearrange our wrong thinking, redirect our wayward heart tendencies, and cause us to become more and more humble with each interaction.

Lysa TerKeust, The Best Way to Approach the Word of God

REFLECTION: Do you ever feel resistant to the things God calls you to in His Word? How can you press past that resistance and allow Him to reorient your heart to His Truth?

I am most resistant when it comes to humility and forgiveness. When the Lord asks me to change the way I feel about a certain person or situation and I don’t like to obey — maybe because it’s something that hurt me, made me angry or anxious — or basically, when He asks me to do things in His way and not my way, I’m very resistant. That whole thing might be under the need of being in control. Over time, the Lord only gives us instructions that are good for our souls. Most of the time, the very thing that we wanted – especially when we get too emotional – is not what’s best for us at the moment. When we read the Bible, it guides us to know how to respond to life and it also uncovers and reveals who we truly are. The urge to resist is always present.

We have different truths in our minds based on how we see things. To push past the resistance, as cliche as it may sound: obedience is key. Our church always reminds us that even though we don’t like or we don’t feel doing things for the Lord, we have to take a leap of faith and do it anyway. The doing precedes the feeling. For example, in my area of humility and forgiveness, the only way I can be humble and forgiving is when I actually practice it. We don’t depend on our feelings to practice and grow in our character. Our emotion is a gift from the Lord but it shouldn’t be taking control of us. In reality, I like to be in control; the only way I can let the Lord take over is when I learn to surrender. Surrendering everything to the Lord, admitting that we cannot do it on our own – even we are very [and wrongfully] convinced that we can – and obeying Him every step of the way could push back the resistance and help us reorient our truth to His Truth.

Devo Background via First5: The Best Way to Approach the Word of God