you’ve discovered ugly parts of you
that resurfaced once again.
you knew how messed up
your mind can be
and how you act based
on what tugs your heart —
even it’s crazy and irrational.
you push people,
you build walls,
you wanted to be the one
who leave first
not the one being left out.
you shield yourself
from the perceived pain
that you think is coming.
you want to move on quickly,
you want to be the one
who seemed unfazed,
you want to act nonchalantly
when everything hurts inside your chest.
do not live in your head, luv.
do not believe the lie that you
are not seen or heard or cared for.
we will always doubt if
we are loved.
let me tell you that you are.
you will not always feel it
nor understand it,
but you are loved.
the unbelief can paralyze you
but that’s because you’re
only looking at yourself.
get out.
get out of yourself.
look outward.
look for people to love,
to care for, to serve.
give yourself away.
lose yourself by loving others more
so you can find yourself again.
one of my favorite quote from
the book Eat. Pray. Love. is —
when you set out in the world to help yourself,
sometimes you end up helping Tutti.
the name Tutti means everybody
maybe we learn to love ourselves more
when we love others more;
when we look outwardly,
not focusing on our own needs;
when we seek to give
the kind of love we wanted to receive.
then, maybe
just maybe
it will go back full circle.
true love cannot be given
by our own people all the time.
their love is as crooked as ours.
true love only has One source.
that kind of love
heals our pain,
casts out our fear,
embraces us tightly.
we’ve turned a new page today.
go back and surrender
all the ugly parts of you
to the One who will rescue your soul,
to the One who will welcome you Home.
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